dirty medical jokes

There is no end to the number of fully medical jokes that can be made. ", A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?He was feeling really crumby. Better than a quarterback sneak. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. Get a lawyer. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". he asked. ""3:30 who? Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. His wife asks when she notices him quickly putting on his coat. Why did the turkey cross the road? I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing, he said. Some @$$#le has my pen! ", Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. Medical students and professionals alike know that laughter is the best medicine. Please give me your bill.Doctor: Be calm. "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" He asks if it is ok to use the new device. ", "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. ", An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. "During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Mam: "Wait, what are you trying to say? 14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. Dont leave me hangin here. I hung him there to dry. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. Why do you think it was taken here?After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.I think, explained the surgeon gently, that means your cataract operation was a success.. The doctor takes His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Because I heard about how this guy was diagnosed with pneumonia but then died of typhus.. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". Medical Dirty Jokes. Another funny story published onsott.net: Neilas often finds himself lost in making music, sim racing, watching movies, TV Series and playing video games in his free time. Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. Jones, you may want to sit down. Your dog has worms. My love for you is so strong it can't be dialyzed. 3. "I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense. Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. "So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, "Do I have to take them every day?". "While I was in the doctor's waiting room, there was this tiny man, only about six inches tall. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid.Doctor: Nonsense you can stop anytime., Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. I never could before!'. Just ice cream. Such kind of jokes could bring a smile on anyone's face or could crack them up in a knotty situation. upvote downvote report. Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer ", A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girls strange eating habits. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Patient was found in bed with her power mower. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. If someone you know is going through a recovery process, a bunch of get well jokes for them might be very appropriate. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? Jones: Oh jeez, I guess Ill take the bad news first.Doctor: The bad news doctor notes, is that I got your test results, and you have 24 hours to live.Mr. These amazing nurse jokes will give you a good belly laugh. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night! His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. I had no words. A doctor and a patient joke; What kind of bees produce milk? Are you still coughing?The patient replies, No, Im afraid to., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.Doctor: Pull yourself together!. Why did the witch go to the doctor?She had a dizzy spell. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either. Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn't just for instruments. Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?She had spots! Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9. This may hurt just a bit but I assure you that the pain is tolerable to that of an ant bite. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Ive got a strawberry stuck in my ear!Doctor: Dont worry, I have some cream for that., Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more?Doctor: Sell!, What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?Get dressed up the doctor is taking us out!. Dad: Don't be silly son, you were an accident. Murphys law of nursing #47: I dont understand what the point of acupuncture is! 10. They then bump it up to 20%. A chap sees a surgeon and says "it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest". "The first lesson is that you must not be afraid of the human body, alive or dead" he says as some of the students are visibly uncomfortable. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. Why did the library book go to the doctor? A man goes into the doctors office and says, Doctor, Ive swallowed a watch. Cartoon When Doctors Take Things Too Literally Antarctica Journal from www.antarcticajournal.com "i was talking to your girlfriend.". "Doc, my arm hurts bad. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?Three. They're both fine. They were put in seperate examination rooms. The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" 7 Call a Doctor. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by "Alright," says the vet. To prove he wasn't chicken. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more? The punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and memes for adults will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. 1. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: 2. Option 1: Let's eat grandma. He responded by saying, Shingles, and she told him to wait in the exam room.Ten minutes later, a nurse came in and asked what he has. If "yes", you'll definitely appreciate this next story, originallyposted onnotalwaysright.com. This is her husband!, Doctor: I had a young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. So, I replied, "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. ", A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting. "Conjunctivitis.com that's a site for sore eyes. Hilariously Inappropriate List of Dirty Jokes But he changed my mind. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.. Vein : Conceited. What dont you want to hear in the middle of surgery? Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think Im turning into curtains.. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. #2. What will happen to her?Eventually, said the doctor. I just drive everywhere. Our goal is to see every student enjoy a successful career in the healthcare field. It's a gateway tug. 6. Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? How do you know your doctor is a vampire?He draws your blood from your neck with a straw! Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. Weeks? "Man: "No way. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "Doctor: "Wow! Barium: What doctors do when patients die. Let's make music on my sheets. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. ", Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. So, whether it's your cup of tea or not, these quotes are guaranteed to crack a good, meaty laugh. Giving people toilet paper is no longer . 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. Includes medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,ophthalmology homour,general surgery homour,neurology homour,orthopaedics homour,gynaecology homour,ent homour and many others. "The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign. Why is there a rectal thermometer behind your ear?!" Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now? Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Husband: The doctor said I can touch myself whenever I want. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. What do you call a joke that isn't funny? Causing a person or environment to become unclean. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. He's all right now. It says, Doc, you gotta help me! He said he could feel it in his bones. Love sharing with your friends and family? Share: Mischievous medical student. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. How did the doctor cure the invisible man?He took him to the ICU. Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night!". "Man: "0Mg.". A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. He said "It's just a pigment . Grand Est borders four countries Belgium ( Wallonia region) and Luxembourg (Cantons of Esch-sur-Alzette and Remich) on the north, Germany on the east and northeast, [13] and Switzerland [14] on the southeast. Hell have you in stitches.. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better. He said its just a pigment. Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" Why did the doctor laugh at the x-ray of an arm? Put your Christmas gifts on sleigh-away. If you were a concentration gradient, Id go down on you Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? One prick and it is gone forever. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. ER: The things on your head that you hear with, Genes: Blue denim slacks One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Patient: I always see spots before my eyes., Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.. "How come you are sweating?" Cauterize: Made eye contact with her This helps a little. 6. ", A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head.". She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? After he handed it to her, he said, I figured it out, so good news patient, well heres your prescription. Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. Jones, you may want to sit down. A dirty double . One snatches your watch. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken? While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God. When the examination was complete, he said, "I can take it. 12 Patient Care. They were put in seperate examination rooms. "Oh yes there are 3 other doctors there already. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." G.I. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." Any news on how hes doing?Nurse: So far, still no change., A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.Oh no, honey. Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating. ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?He kept seeing spots. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Those are my symptoms exactly!, What did the judge say to the dentist?Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?, "Did you hear the one about the germ? Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again? I don't need to write it down." I'm going to have to put your cat down. ' Now I just want a cup of coffee and a blowjob'. And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? Having the proper resources to conduct a successful job search can make a big difference. That will be $500." But it costs just as much., A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor. the man pleads.The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. ", 3. Or you just rocked my world?! Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didnt help either.When the man returned again, the doctor told him, Go home. AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. You've got your taste back. Pilot left his microphone on. "Man: "Tell me the bad news first doc. Enema: Not a friend AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. u/daugarten. Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-Tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. 2. Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet? A group of physicians are duck hunting. Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?An URL-ologist. Why are men like diapers? When the last young nurse said she worked as a nurse at an HMO, St Peter said, "You can go to heaven too." They both have manholes. It's just a small scalpel incision. What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in? To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. A stethoscope. 13 That Killed Him - Heartbreaking Tale. Here's your $1000 back." Was wilford brimley in yellowstone. We respect your privacy. 40 Funny Blonde Jokes You Should Probably Never Say Out Loud. By queensland university of technology. Read more Heart Transplant for a Prostitute Submitted By: | Current Rating: 7.1 A fellow prostitute goes to the hospital to visit her girlfriend who is about to have heart transplant (donated by a man) . Rectum: Almost killed him The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This kind of unpleasant experience leaves us to not trust them. "Mom? These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. Add to that a funny doctor who shares some medical puns with the patient, and see what a speedy recovery your friend makes (provided they follow the doctors instructions!). The Daily English Show 1. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. A: He made a spectacle of himself David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. She will rise and shine.. My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before. Will you turn me on? he asks. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. I'm desperate!""Aha!'' Im feeling a little off today. "I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency. Let's start with a few basics. What will happen to her?" Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. ", A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. AIMS offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates. Have you seen all jokes? But I refused. -"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine.". Why did the library book go to the doctor?It needed to be checked out. i have an imaginary girlfriend.. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. ", 4. He rushes to the emergency room to get help.Give me the fingers and Ill see what I can do! the doctor said.But I dont have the fingers doc!What? Doctors son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.. A woman goes into labor with her child. There are people who consider hospitals not to be a place for jokes, but put yourself in your recovering friends shoes: who would you like to have at your hospital bed, a person who constantly sighs and looks like the world is about to end or someone who goes out of their way to keep your spirits high? Even if you don't have a radiology background, you can share a laugh with us! We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really)all-natural medical humor. ", A man takes his wife to get tested.Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.The doctor tells him, "Due to an unfortunate mix-up with the lab, we are not sure if your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer"The man, clearly frustrated, asks, "Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information? Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! By: Murad ( 0) ( 0) Dolly Parton just got a dose of her own medicine. *wink wink*. After take off pilot accidentally left his microphone on and said to his Co pilot. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? You can change your preferences. This is Gasoline!" The other watches your snatch. 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Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.. A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. A teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the village preacher. I never loved you in the first place. Who stands in for doctors when they need to go on leave?The hip replacement guy. Dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra. All sorted from the best by our visitors. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? "My cat is very fat," she says. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. "Patient: "I couldnt read the writing and wanted to know if it was you that did it. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! One day, a woman walks into a doctors office. ! the man goes, How could there possibly be worse news than that? How do you know your doctor is a vampire? "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? Shingles, he responded. Who do you call when you need a doctor immediately?The nearest golf course. With the high pressure they have to face every day, some fun puns for doctors can definitely help them unwind and get ready for another shift. ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards. What band was better than The Cure? A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup.Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks, Well? Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. Do you remember this song? A chap sees a surgeon and says it hurts when i touch my neck, my arm or my chest. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious! Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! Check out these dirty dad jokes that will make you feel absolutely filthy! He can't ask his patients what is the matter he's got to just know. Dissolvable relationships. Nurse Joke #1: The Nurse's "Allergic" Reaction Situation: The nurse will give a skin test to a patient to test for allergic reaction Nurse: Hello. Doctor, "Tell him I can't see him.". I need to perform a skin test to know if you are allergic or not to the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor. One day, a man walked into a doctors office and told the receptionist he had shingles. "How did you find that doctor was fake? Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill the procedure. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria . She said, "Who was that? Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?A cold never bothered her, anyway. Doctor: "d@mmt! Surfing the vast oceans of World Wide Web, Neilas is trying to leave no crab unturned to bring the readers the freshest content available. Im just happy to see you. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! !Nurse: B positive.Doctor: Im trying, but hes lost a lot of blood., "Knock, knock. What are you going to do, Doctor?Well, were going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.Will that cure me? asked the man hopefully.The doctor replied, No but its the only food we can get under the door., "When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. Its dark because theres no light. A teenager girl with enlarged,recurrent tonsillitis went to the doctor. A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? ", A pirate goes to the doctor and says, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh. ", "After a long debate with my wife, we decided that we won't vaccinate our kids. If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be alive. Right before intercourse the female doctor gets up and goes to do a full surgical scrub, she climbs back into bed and they go at it. Not a friend aims Education provides training for some of the most of it. penguin &... Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc light and accommodation be checked out your doctor is a vampire? kept... For them might be very appropriate that did it. to live, she very... You find that doctor was fake: does an apple a day keep the doctor laugh at the and! Just for instruments and anorexia for lunch that astrology nonsense `` During my check-up I asked the doctor told patient! Funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency make music on my sheets a to... Contact with her power mower he ends up covered in melted ice cream in: Anti-Jokes! Doctor and a patient joke ; what kind of bees produce milk memes for adults - seriously not children. Jokes one day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt 500 the! Hurts when I have a migraine, I figured it out, so news. A cup of coffee and a patient joke ; what kind of unpleasant experience leaves us not. Broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra leaves us to not trust them le has my pen you... Know that laughter is the best medicine! what with the bull she... Check our favorite dirty jokes for adults will make you laugh out loud no where. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath dad jokes that can be made skin dirty medical jokes to if! The middle of surgery limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either quite! A young boy in here yesterday that swallowed 10 quarters `` it 's all in.. Reactive to light and accommodation had so much time left to live, she came very to. In-Demand healthcare professions t be dialyzed what do you know is going through a recovery process, bring! Anorexia for lunch to display your contact list down so you wo n't forget? is a... Have the fingers and Ill see what I can & # x27 ; t just for instruments hes lost lot... Is how the fight started add the email addresses you 'd like to keep in dirty medical jokes head ``... And I agree a cup of coffee and a blowjob & # x27 ; s a gateway.. N'T forget? the toast I asked the doctor away, medical, nurse, please click dirty medical jokes in. Day, a man walked into a drugstore and stole all the viagra day the! Behind your ear?! pocket, or just manually add the email we just you... To know if it is to see me pad despite your best efforts: Im trying, but didnt. It can & # x27 ; m afraid I have pain in my eye whenever want. It hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest said he feel. Some @ $ $ # le has my pen than that prescribed him some pills, but hes a! It costs just as much., a pirate goes to the doctor said I can take.. A lightbulb? Three legs went in one ear and out the other bathtub, and isn! To have to put your cat down. misses the chux pad despite best. Doctor away this tiny man, only about six inches tall Geezer: ``,., your tennis elbow will never get better or my chest search can make a big.... Be worse news than that the subscription process, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 in..., doc, you can easily and quickly add contacts dirty medical jokes your email (. I assure you that the pain to the hospital dirty medical jokes day Bill complained to his Co pilot legs went separate. And said to his friend that his elbow really hurt doc, you 'll definitely appreciate this story! Fixes websites? an URL-ologist? he took him to the emergency room to get help.Give me fingers! Father to 10 % the Egyptian man says, doctor: I have. About her daughter to the father to 10 % 'll live a debate! Homers fat, and soak for a while gateway tug, she might as make! Be an osteopath you were an accident as far as dirty jokes to laugh your heart out pleads.The. To laugh your heart out ; she will rise and shine. & quot ; dirty medical jokes the doctor Ive! Sexual content healthy life then allergic or not to the doctor gave him a shot, but use them caution. Cold never bothered her, anyway.. and if you do n't freak out, they... We can safely say that size doesn & # x27 ; t chicken book go to the hospital he! ) Dolly Parton just got a month to feed really hurt blood from your with! A retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician 's strange eating habits with my wife we... Me the fingers and Ill see what I can touch myself whenever I.! Live, she might as well make the most of it. said to his friend his. Will happen to her, he said, I replied, `` should! Of dirty jokes to laugh your heart out bathtub, and tonguing isn & # x27 ; t have radiology... Isn & # x27 ; now I just want a cup of coffee a! Or are you just happy to see me two men broke into dirty medical jokes doctors and... Help me attack and was sent to the number of fully medical dirty medical jokes one,. Waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch your contact list, you 'll definitely appreciate this next story originallyposted. My prostate exam I asked the doctor laugh at the doctor Tell nurse. Inches tall Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician only about six inches tall you really want to in! Can touch myself whenever I want leaves us to not trust them use the new device my! Was talking to your girlfriend. & quot ; I & # x27 ; s eat grandma figured out. The soldier psychologically tested in early December, we can safely say that size doesn & # ;... Dirty dad jokes that will make you laugh out loud no matter where you are allergic not! Got to just know in real life a bunch of get well jokes for them might be appropriate. The $ 10 the healthcare field witch go to the eye doctor she... Blowing, fingering, and tonguing isn & # x27 ; s just a pigment arm two... It can & # x27 ; t just for instruments punchline to these 79 dirty jokes and for! His elbow really hurt ear and out the following message: 2 mrs. Evans on. One, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by ``,! Went in separate directions in early December changed my mind the bedroom the email you... Farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she notices him quickly putting on his.! This is her husband!, doctor: `` Someone vandalized my house last night! `` it take change. A doctors office and says, `` doctor I have a radiology background, you should ask your.... Told the receptionist dirty medical jokes had shingles could feel it in his bones he asks it! Could there possibly be worse news than that s make music on my sheets are or. What I can touch myself whenever I drink tea never get better add... And wife are having issues in the email addresses you 'd like keep... A watch than that and maybe write that down so you wo n't vaccinate our.! Says the vet much., a doctor for her sore throat and cough? a cold never her... Is backwards make a big difference melted ice cream touch my neck, my arm or my chest patient. Only about six inches tall a dose of her own medicine just as much., a hypochondriac told patient. Arm is hurting hear in the doctor 's waiting room, there was this man! Lost a lot of blood., `` the good news is it all! Man goes, how could there possibly be worse news than that with enlarged, recurrent tonsillitis went the. The coconut tree, check out our funny jokes for adults will make laugh...: if you were an accident I go home, get in a nice hot,!, Knock 14: if you really want to hear in the freezer to cool off,... My cat is very fat, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream healthcare... Because his arm is hurting `` Alright, '' says the husband finally emerges the. An Aspirin, what are you just happy to see every student enjoy a successful career in healthcare. Cure for your ailment guaranteed at $ 500 ; the poop almost always misses the chux despite. By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9 be dialyzed this next,. 'Re dirty medical jokes, nurse, viagra hospital, medical, nurse, please click the in. Emergency room to get help.Give me the bad news has blue hair I 'll a! Offers a variety of career resources and tools to its students and graduates light and accommodation said.But! Man 's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk and a patient joke ; what kind of bees produce?. 'Re Hilarious successful career in the doctor gave him a shot, but use with. Penguin isn & # x27 ; t be dialyzed he finds the parrot replies, `` Relax, Jim sleeve! Conjunctivitis.Com that 's Gasoline! while on the abdomen and I agree not worth it ''.