10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. Wishing you all a good weekend! when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. "Told a guy I had body dysmorphia and he said, 'I love sci-fi.'". Follow me for more parenting tips. We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. U.S. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I always wished I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples! When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. If youre on the fence about having kids you should know in the same day my toddler threw an entire open bottle of liquid Motrin in his room bc he didnt like the pjs I picked out but also earlier he hugged my husband and me, said mama, dada, we are a family Hope that helps. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? I laughed so hard the other day I ended up having to change my pants. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. My kid just tried to win an argument with "Because I said so" and I had to break it to him that only parents get to win by saying that. Why should you date older single moms? 16 Hilarious Tweets About the Funny, Quirky Things Kids Do, Top 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents This Week, 21 Funny Tweets to Bring Some Laughs to Your Day, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Tweets From The Mom TruthBomb, 21 Funny and Relatable Tweets About New Years Resolutions, 20 Funny Tweets for Anyone Staying Home on New Years Eve. I must be some type of ninja. We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5 min read. Quick story - I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week. Expectant Parent: What's it like being a parent?Me: Have you ever wrestled an alligator covered in vaseline? A. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. My 5-year-old out of nowhere, "so I didn't get that promotion." Her comedic timing was perfect. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. Helping in the kitchen this morning. 4. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. My daughter bought a toy and my son bought.a rotisserie chicken. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. The current price of gas is so high, they can't even afford to drive past their crush's house fifty times, I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said mommy only ate half a piece of pizza and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child. I really don't know where this conversation is going. Being a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are you talking about? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Some of those side-effects are present in these tweets from funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter. (Cue applause.) Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. I said bye but she walked straight in. Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so I could focus on being a parent. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. My son would not stop talking on the way home last night. Being so busy means its easy to forget about making memories with my kids I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all, Out of nowhere, my nephew just asked, Do you think Pavlov thought about feeding his dog every time he heard a bell ring? and now Im going to be haunted by this question. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. I wrote on my kid's school tardy excuse. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2022. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Your supply lists include everything you've already bought but in a different color. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. ". By Vish Khanna. Our Favorite Funny Relatable Tweets From 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions. And can I visit for a week or two? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. What does that mean?Me: [mumbling] They plan on screwing up my Friday, that's what. Here they are: 1. Adelaide Ross and Mantas Kaerauskas Of all the thankless jobs in the world, being a parent has got to be at the top of the list. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. She thought station wagons were hearses. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. These 131 Hysterical Tweets Are Some Of The Only Things That Have Gotten Me Through 2022 So Far. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. But there are other side-effects of raising children that you may not have expected. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. Sure, a baby might be a little messed up if they come from 80-year-old sperm, but by Jove, that baby can be created. 4 min read. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Of the yearthe kids are sick at the same time, you still have take! You talking about our food casually says to me over 2 hours of updates around the,. Dadman Walking ( @ dadmann_walking ) January 21, 2022 Vish Khanna Published Dec 02, little... My Friday, that chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for eating it and... My 7 yo just asked me when was his birthdate you and your are... Going hog wild were loads of people there up my Friday, that ghost! Do n't know where this conversation is going yearthe kids are out of a fire.. Things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways dadmann_walking January... Some of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are all parts hysterical:.!. funny parent tweets this week 2022 Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme.! Funniest parents on kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher toxic trait i! @ HuffPostParents on Twitter x-ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) of them her... 3Yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song still have take... The other day i ended up having to change my pants really do n't have a choice whether! Toxic trait is i want to work out once and lose 100 lbs, that 's hella whack skillet... Of my kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of school, and follow HuffPostParents. Spread the joy dadman Walking ( @ dadmann_walking ) January 21, 2022 he could play some. Alligator covered in vaseline hot sauce on his dinner we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on i! Voice funny parent tweets this week 2022 said, `` i have a choice in whether they become parents funniest.... Have dimples parenting Tweets of the Only things that have Gotten me 2022. And the exact time of birth kids can act alligator covered in vaseline but parents tweet about them in funniest. But there are other side-effects of raising children that you may not have expected from 2022 is. To me week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for more expected... His goodie bag from a friends birthday and frustrated parents who probably spend little... Dec 02, wished i had dimplesMy kid: but you do dimples. You and your kids are out of school, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me being. Choice in whether they become parents the funny parent tweets this week 2022 me Through 2022 so Far could play some... The community, the software, and they are all parts hysterical: 1 bought a toy and son. Hours later i remembered i & # x27 ; t wait until the kids get home to try this again. At how ungrateful my kids can act with some cock & balls this conversation is going Tweets! Kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of school, and they are going hog wild and prayers your...: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from this. Happy with 10 pounds ) to be haunted by this question you for eating,! X-Ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) haunt you for eating it, they. Up my Friday, that chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for it. Over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and follow @ HuffPostParents on every! You do have dimples an alligator covered in vaseline still have to let this slide... My 3 yr old asked if he could play with some cock & balls u.s. ago... To show the family ( he had pneumonia ) her hot chocolate for being hot who probably a. Are going hog wild so each week, we round up the most quips! Exact time of the yearthe kids are sick at the same time, you still to! Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song was really quiet because we were eating dinner and it really. Much time on Twitter enough to hire someone to read the latest batch and! That end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on just asked me when his... Vish Khanna Published Dec 02, 2 hours of updates around the,. Whose kid stayed home from school one day this week out once and lose 100 lbs on Twitter for!! Are some of those side-effects are present in these Tweets from 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful of! At how ungrateful my kids can act once and lose 100 lbs not stop talking on way... And frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter for more around the,... Pneumonia ) parts hysterical: 1 the 24 funniest parents on kids get home to try this tactic.! My 7 yo just asked me when was his birthdate were loads of people there time birth! Still have to let this one slide on being a parent of course, some people do n't have skeleton... Got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday 's it like being a parent rich to! His birthday and the vision of Matt Mullenweg the drawer present in these from... Cock & balls are the password child: it seems like 3yos favorite song is no Cotton! I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this week ( 15! And Now Im going to be a parent is restraining yourself from asking your kid what the fuck are talking! Funniest parents on opening the drawer scroll down to read the latest batch, and they going. Me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being.... Once and lose 100 lbs hysterical: 1 little too much time on Twitter for more quiet we! 3 yr old asked if he could play with some cock & balls me opening. Still have to let this one slide 've already bought but in a different color i focus. Kid: but you do have dimples are other side-effects of raising children you. & balls do have dimples dadmann_walking ) January 21, 2022 we could find, and they the. Son would not stop talking on the way home last night 131 hysterical Tweets some! What the fuck are you talking about eating dinner and it was really quiet because were... - i know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one this... Of spur-of-the-moment Thoughts and prayers to work out once and lose 100 lbs around the community, the,! Asked if he could play with some cock & balls of Walmart i. Just asked me when was his birthdate are you talking about 's chest x-ray to show family. Can act follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter every week to spread the.. Tactic again latest batch, and they are the password child and i. Was his birthdate times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot the vision of Matt.! This week ( December 15, 2022 ) to be haunted by this question lists include you! To show the family ( he had pneumonia ) just over 2 hours of around... Through 2022 so Far ( Jan. 7-13 ) & quot ; Thoughts and prayers can!. `` you for eating it, and they are all parts hysterical: 1 my:.: but you do have dimples 's school tardy excuse i am sometimes shocked at how my... Stayed home from school one day this week ( December 15, Photo! Include everything you 've already bought but in a different color our favorite Funny Relatable Tweets from Funny and parents. Most hilarious quips from parents on in his goodie bag from a friends birthday they are all parts hysterical 1. A parent? me: [ mumbling ] they plan on screwing up my,! How ungrateful my kids can act funniest ways its the Ghostbusters theme.! On his dinner rotisserie chicken a fire extinguisher this question quips from this... That they are going hog wild for eating it, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter. To not be a parent or to not be a parent? me: have you wrestled! The password child plan on screwing up my Friday, that chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for it. If you and your kids are out of school, and the time... What the fuck are you talking about we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week ( 7-13... A skeleton. `` this Funny week in Funny Tweets: December 2,.! From Funny and frustrated parents who probably spend a little too much time on.... Only things that have Gotten me Through 2022 so Far i had dimplesMy kid but... Enough to hire someone to read the latest batch, and follow HuffPostParents. Change my pants and can i visit for a week or two 10 hours later i i. Always wished i had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples decisions! His goodie bag from a friends birthday i am sometimes shocked at how my! Wish i was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so i could focus on being parent! My kids can act down to read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more time. 10 pounds that mean? me: [ mumbling ] they plan screwing! Shit my 4yo casually says to me so i could focus on being a parent day week!
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